Being an "author" isn't all listening to Queen and David Bowie in your free time and writing and reading the rest of the time; actually, being an "author" is largely about managing your fragile psyche so that you do not shatter.
I've talked about it on here before, but it is important enough to repeat:
When you think about whether or not people will like your writing, while you are writing, the writing is already dead.
This is true whether you are an aspiring author or a published author - but once you already have a book out there, and have the (equal parts uplifting and frustrating) privilege of reading what critics and readers both liked and disliked about your novel, it becomes a whole lot more difficult to separate thoughts of "will people like this?" from the writing process.
But, hey: it's also necessary.
That's where I am right now. How am I handling it? I'm not really sure; I've tried lots of different things, but the main thing is repetition - writing daily with the conscious decision to think only about the creation of the work and not the down-the-road exposure of the work. Also, I'm further removed from the publication of The Great Lenore, and the reviews from readers are now rolling in too quickly for me to really keep up with them - each of which makes things easier.
That's me.
How about you?
Do you have a hard time blocking out thoughts of down-the-road reactions when you write?
Do you (gasp!) show people your work as you write it, or do you hold off?
Until I debunked this thought, did you think being an author was all listening to Queen and David Bowie in your free time?
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I have to admit, I do worry about this while writing. Mainly because I like to write genres that many people look down on -- fantasy, young adult. I've casually mentioned I like writing in those genres, and had people give me some very snooty responses. This does factor into my thoughts when I sit down to write, whether consciously or unconsciously. I do admit to wondering, "is this even worth it/a valid thing to write?" I usually just keep writing anyway, but it's still disheartening.
ReplyDeleteI think this is very, very common among writers. All writers, myself most definitely included! Like all things in life, in writing, the ego is a powerful and destructive force: whether we imagine our future selves signing contracts or autographs, or delete a favourite passage out of fear that someone or some people will not like what they read.
ReplyDeleteThere's a wonderful passage by Henry Miller, an unashamed favourite of mine, that captures this thinking:
"Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there."
It's impossible to not think like this all the time, of course, but keeping the truth in mind or close by is something I endeavour to achieve.
My new mantra is to write for myself first, and everyone else a distant second. To write with all my stars out, as it were.
Thanks for the discussion, friend :)