You ready for this?
I'm not all that excited.
I don't mean about the book cover being released to the world. I don't mean about us getting closer to Tuesday March 1, the day on which The Great Lenore becomes available for pre-order. I just...I mean about the whole darn thing.
Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled. I'm looking forward to these next steps. But I'm really not all that excited.
This seems worth mentioning, because people always tell me how excited I must be.
They told me this when I landed an agent (incidentally, they did not tell me this when my agent and I parted ways). They told me this when I signed my publishing deal. They told me this when I announced the pre-order date. Now that the book cover is up and the pre-order date is drawing nearer, I'm hearing it again.
And you know what? - it's a perfectly natural thing to say. A perfectly natural thing to assume.
But I think it's also perfectly natural for me to feel the way I feel. Why? Because...
I believe a lot of "aspiring authors" are the same way I was. They sometimes wonder if things will ever work out. They sometimes wonder if it's just time to quit. But all along, they also know that at some point it will happen. At some point they'll be published. At some point they'll publish a book that is well-received. At some point they'll publish a string of books that are well-received and that do really well. At some point, they will be able to look back over a long and fruitful literary career. The whole part about...you know, receiving that first letter or email that says, "We would like to publish your first novel" is grand - no doubt about it. But it's already happened in the minds of these writers so many times that after the wave of mingled triumph and relief washes over them, it's time to move forward.
What I mean to say is, getting a book published was not my ultimate goal when I set out to become a writer. It is simply a step along a journey.
Years from now, I will look back on these preliminary stages of The Great Lenore with great affection and nostalgia. But I will never see these days as a peak. Even if this is the highest point I ever reach, I will never see it as a peak. There is so much more to accomplish than this.
This is why I enjoy my modest accomplishments to date. I appreciate them. But I do not get excited.
I'm sure there are many of you who understand.
There are many more of you who will understand at some point down the road.
Keep writing, Dear Aspiring Author. You'll have a chance to agree with me soon enough.
[be a pal. follow me…]
*on this website*
*on twitter*
*on facebook*
I think your feelings are perfectly fine. The other day I was reading the blog of Patrick Rothfuss. His second book, "Wise Man's Fear," hits shelves March the 1st. His debut novel, and the first book he'd ever written, "The Name of the Wind," was a smashing success when it came out in the fantasy genre. When I read it I was mesmerized. I'm counting down the days to March 1st with drooling anticipation. Right now "Wise Man's Fear" is sitting at number 8 on Amazon's top 100 best sellers, and is number 1 in the best selling fantasies. The book isn't even out yet.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, in the blog I was reading Pat was talking about similar feelings to yours that he'd been having. He said he was afraid, nervous, and felt helpless. Everyone that has had the priveledge of reading the book said it's even better than the first book of the series. They say that Pat Rothfuss as a storyteller and writer has grown far beyond his first book.
The snippet of "The Great Lenore" whet my appetite. I can't wait for the full story. I'm sure it'll be awesome, man.
I can totally relate. I never get overly excited about anything, for one reason or another. There are ups and downs along any journey and it's silly to celebrate a peak -- especially when that peak is probably too early to call a peak, anyway!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your release to your heart's content. And don't let anyone tell you how to feel any more than you let them tell you what to write. :)