Uh, yeah. Fantastic.
Any of you who have ever employed unsolicited query letters in an effort to woo and wed an agent can imagine the shock waves: You settled down with an agent...and (several months later) you find yourself sending unsolicited query letters again.
But...what could I do? Nothing. Except get started.
On Monday and Tuesday, I sent out query letters.
By the end of the week, I had 10 requests for partials and fulls.
Those agents are reading right now, and more requests are coming in this week. More requests will come in next week. And the next week.
I am posting my query letter below.
Why? Because maybe you are querying right now. Or maybe you know someone who is querying right now.
We see a lot of thoughts from agents on what people do *wrong* when querying, but this post gives you some supplementary help. This is an example of one letter that worked well.
Here is the query letter in its original state.
The Great Lenore
On December 10, 2008, a plane flying from London to Boston crashed into the Atlantic, killing every person on board. Among those pronounced dead was Lenore Montana - a rapturous young woman who was traveling home to the husband she resented and the life she despised.
The news of Lenore's death shook her husband and his family about as deeply as any group of people can be shaken, and they retreated to their home on Nantucket Island where they all grieved together.
Four days after the crash, Lenore sneaked onto Nantucket Island also - very much alive.
She had left her flight just before it took off, and now she was dead on paper. And the world was open before her.
Freedom! A chance to start over.
Before Lenore could begin her new life, however, she wanted to attend her funeral.
She needed to see how her husband reacted to her death. She needed to see how the family reacted. She needed to see how the world...
*
Last summer, I loosened my grip on The Great Lenore and settled down with a wonderful, well-respected agent, and in my mind I saw the two of us sailing eternally on a ship called Success.
We spent some time revising The Great Lenore, and then we submitted to two editors: Sally Kim at HarperCollins, and Diana Szu at Thomas Dunne. Both editors expressed excitement over the concept and pleasure with the writing, but in the end neither of them "clicked" with the work.
Okay. That was fine! No big deal.
My agent and I took a long, hard look at the manuscript again, and this time we decided that the beginning of the story needed work. It needed that "immediate grab" it was lacking.
I spent several days immersed in the manuscript, and I resurfaced with the appropriate changes. Finally...finally, everything seemed right. Everything seemed perfect. We were ready to begin submitting again!
And then. My agent. Sort of disappeared.
Over the last six months I have ridden a wave of disjointed correspondence with her.
Yesterday morning (February 22), I talked to her at last.
She informed me that she is cutting back significantly on her agenting work. Her family recently moved, and her daughter has been ill, and she has decided to drop her new clients and to focus instead on her old clients and her family.
And so! - here I am again. Querying.
In one sense, this is difficult for me - after all, many writers consider representation to be something of a Holy Grail, and it feels odd to suddenly find myself, once more, amongst the unagented masses.
In a second, much heavier sense, I am thrilled to reenter this process! I am absolutely electrified at the prospect of discovering what a fresh set of eyes will find in The Great Lenore.
I believe that no one knows so much about writing that they can't learn more, and I am excited to uncover my new agent – to soar alongside the insights they pour into my work.
I am excited to learn more.
Cheers.
~Jordan
email: [email address]
phone: [phone number]
website: www.JMTohline.com
twitter: www.twitter.com/JMTohline
That's all! Be straightforward, avoid gimmicks, and - above all - write well. The interest will follow.
(Also, when querying, always conform to each agent's preferences. Some agents prefer the query letter only. Others prefer the first 3-5 pages along with the query. Some prefer more pages. Check before sending, otherwise it's a waste of their time and yours.)
(Later addition to this post: you can also find some agents' thoughts on things that make a query letter "right" - which, of course, can do nothing but help!)
Happy querying!
~J
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*on this website*
*on twitter*
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First of all, your story sounds amazing and brilliant, and it's no wonder that the requests are flooding in.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I respect the honesty and personality that you show in the query. It's not conventional, but it works. Congratulations on being brave and dipping back into the pool of unagented insecurity. Good luck. I have a feeling your next post will be full of good news.
-Liz
P.S. You got one follower.
Liz,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words.
I'm not usually big on the whole "lay yourself bare and make yourself vulnerable" thing, which is what I feel like this post is doing. But this morning I got a bit of halfway-good news, which strengthened my resolve to post this post. And in any case, it's good to be honest and to show the uninitiated what the process is truly like. It sure isn't easy! But it will all be worth it in the end
Thanks for the open and honest post. It's great to hear that a query letter that tells all as it is, works. I've heard similar stories of agents falling off the radar from a few friends, but none of them got right back into it like this. That tenacity is probably also contributing to the positive reaction you're getting.
ReplyDeleteMy hunch is this will be a one step back, two steps forward turning point for you. Look forward to hearing the results!
DJ,
ReplyDeleteI hope you're right. Fingers crossed!
In any case, thanks for reading. And thanks for the words.
Yikes on the agent situation, but in some ways it's great that you get a chance to start over.
ReplyDeleteYour query letter is excellent, and the story sounds like an intriguing read. Good luck with it, and keep us all posted!
Tawna
Tawna,
ReplyDeleteLike I said - your post helped to strengthen the resolve! It's amazing how little we all understood about this process when we set out on the path years and years ago.
The response from agents feels nice - and of course, it helps that I queried anyone I could think of who might be interested...and even a few (like your agent, for instance!) who I figured probably wouldn't be interested, as this falls outside their general tastes, but who I hear so many wonderful things about it only made sense to test the waters anyway.
I feel as if I've done all I can do. And now it's down to "hurry up and wait."
Wow, great letter, and such a bumpy-road story about you and your agent. Here's hoping you find another agent fast fast fast!! :)
ReplyDeleteDon't fret, you'll find success soon enough. If nothing else, you've taught me that merely acquiring an agent isn't the Holy Grail of writing (to use your words). I'm happy writing and querying.
ReplyDeleteI have three completed manuscripts and all of them have seen some sort of action with agents and publishers alike, but none have made it. I think it's the industry in a way.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya ;-)
Elena - thanks so much. Here's to hoping the exact same thing!
ReplyDeleteDawn - it's funny how that works, huh? Writers spend so much time trying to find an agent, they think everything is smooth sailing after that. Not so! Sucks to have knowledge sometimes, but knowledge now is better than being surprised down the road, right? ;)
good luck in the renewed quest for an agent.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed with how honest your query letter is... I have yet to even finish my query letter.
I keep starting over.
My first novel was published without an agent so this is all new territory for me. I am hoping I can figure this out in a way that will work for me and hopefully land me an agent as well, for however long. :)
Amie,
ReplyDeleteWriting the query letter can be tough!
Years ago, when I started shopping my very first manuscript, I would write and send out to a handful of letters to test the response, and then I would make changes and go out again. After this latest swell of query letters birthed by my computer, I would definitely say the best approach is to edit and edit and edit your query letter until you feel really good about it. And then you can send it to every agent who interests you at once!
Congratulations on all the requests! That's phenomenal!
ReplyDeleteHi JM,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of the post-agented! It's kind of like AA: My name is Victoria, and I lost my agent. It happens.
I was reading through your list of books to read---I've read a lot of them, but I want to recommend one to start with: Steinbeck's Tortilla Flat.
In fact, I think you've inspired me to write about it (on my magazine) today. It's short, beautifully-written, and brilliant, a sort of ensemble Don Quixote in a falling-down adobe shack. You can even see the seed of Brautigan's short piece, "The Kool-Aid Wino" in it.
best,
Victoria
I like this a lot -- both your novel and your agent/query story. Thanks for sharing it with us. Another follower here, too.
ReplyDeleteJordan #1, I'd like to be your agent. But, the intro needs to be reworked one more again. It needs to say "anal rape" at least once, if not five times, within the first 10 pages of the book or it's not going to garner much interest. They say sex sells, so "anal rape" should be pure gold.
ReplyDeleteAlso, have you given much thought to including at least one naked picture of yourself on every page of the book? Please refer to my previous "sex sells" comment.
Sincerely,
Jordan #2
Ok, I'm hooked. But before you let it go to your head you should know that I'm embarrassingly impressionable. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to reading the whole thing. I'll even pay for it. I promise.
ReplyDeleteWrite on.
Uncle Gus - I have a sister who is embarrassingly impressionable. We can't let her watch commercials, because she'll want to buy everything they show her.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, thanks for the words. Welcome along on the ride!
Sounds like a good story idea. Was wondering, however, if this storyline sounds familiar? I can't help but recall another famous literary character who also attended his own funeral. Do you recall who?
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Sumner