We Have Goat's Milk If You'd Like

Anytime someone says the words, "That'd be fine" (in fact, anytime someone says something that could reasonably lead someone else to say, "That'd be fine"), I subsequently repeat the words aloud (quietly, to myself), and I do so using the voice of Daniel Plainview (the character portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis in the best film of 2007 - There Will Be Blood).

The scene from the movie goes like this.

"We have goat's milk if you'd like."

"That'd be fine."

For some reason, I adore that line. Maybe it simply encapsulates Plainview's character so precisely - the fact that he has infringed on this man's land, is planning to swindle him out of his oil...the man offers him something, and Plainview says, "That'd be fine," as if the man owes him this generosity.

Also, Daniel Day-Lewis just sounds cool saying it.

"That'd be fine."

It's sort of my own, personal inside-joke, I guess. Now you can be in on it also.

Look, here is the video of him saying it:
(You have to skip to about 5:30 - and it wouldn't hurt you to watch until 6:30)

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)

A Blog About Good Books That I've Recently Read

Hey, look! It's some of the better books I've read over the last couple months. You should read these books also.

   

Raise High the Roofbeam, Carpenters and Seymour, an Introduction
~J.D. Salinger
This book is probably more fascinating to writers than to readers, but it is a terrific (and virtuosic) book regardless.
*
The Apprentice Fiction of F. Scott Fitzgerald
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
A collection of writing from Fitzgerald's formative years.


   

Less Than Zero
~Bret Easton Ellis
Bret Easton Ellis's first novel, written when he was 19 years old. Dark. Painful. Incredible.
*
Cathedral
~Raymond Carver
A wonderful writer who more people should still be reading.


   

East of Eden
~John Steinbeck
As with almost all Steinbeck -- you finish reading this book, and you are absolutely certain that you have just finished reading the best thing he ever wrote.
*
The Things They Carried
~Tim O'Brien
An unbelievable collection of Vietnam stories, by an unbelievable writer. Should be required reading in all American schools.


   

The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing
~Melissa Bank
Begins to toe the Chick Lit line by the end, but a wonderful summer read -- breezy and ponderous; serious without taking itself too seriously.
*
Bluebeard
~Kurt Vonnegut
The first Vonnegut I've read in over a year. I forgot how much I need him in my life. A soaring, energetic adventure.

Keep reading!

Cheers.
~J

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)

Your and You're

Your = Possessive, as in, "This is your dog."

You're = You are, as in, "You're [You are] a black stain on the canvas of our corporation."

Come on, people. It really isn't so difficult.

(Side note: This post is mostly for Americans. Sadly, our British counterparts are better-educated, and they don't require lessons in things that they should have learned when they were small.)

The end.

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)

Roger Ebert Hates Me

Before Roger Ebert watches a movie, he does everything within his power to avoid trailers or previews of the movie. He also avoids articles about the movie. In fact, he avoids anything that might give away anything at all about the movie.

Pretty smart, no?

Except...

...after Roger Ebert actually sees a movie, he morphs into this destructive force of movie-spoiling madness!

In every review of his I've ever read, he gave away at least one major development in the movie. In fact, I have read reviews in which he gave away the ending.

There are three possible explanations for this ridiculous path of action:
1) He is senile.
2) He simply does not care anymore.
3) He hates me.

We can likely eliminate Option One, as he seems to possess quite the dextrous mind.

As for Option Two, most of his reviews lead me to believe that he takes his craft rather seriously.

Which leaves us with Option Three.

Roger Ebert hates me.

I still read his reviews, of course - the fact that the man hates me cannot stop me from doing that. But nowadays, I never read them until after I've seen the movie.

Yup - another nemesis foiled.

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)

Good Job, Tohline

Sometimes, I refer to myself by my last name. Out loud, I will say things like, "Good job, Tohline." Sometimes I think that it's funny. Other people think that it's funny also. They chuckle.

Back in high-school, I would sometimes say, "You know, back in high-school, people used to call me the problem solver." People would either respond by chuckling, or they would respond by saying, "You're still in high-school," and then they would chuckle.

It probably was not really funny. They might have been laughing out of pity. Or they laughed so that they could be liked.

People like to be liked.

Makes sense.

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)

Awkward Greeting

Yesterday I was picking my sister up from the airport when I began watching a man who was sitting near the baggage carousel. He was a short man, with curly black hair and enough extra skin on his neck that it looked like his face stretched all the way down to his chest.

After several minutes of watching the man, a woman walked up to him. The man stood. He offered his hand to the woman for a handshake. And the woman...bypassed the handshake, and she went in for a kiss.

Um, excuse me?

Yeah, it turned out that the woman was his wife. He had offered her a handshake.

Awkward.

Other Places Where I Hang Out:

↑   ↑   ↑   ↑   ↑
(A Delicious Little Pre-Publication Sample Of The Great Lenore)